Zucchini “Pasta” and more importantly a poached egg because I really wanted to eat a poached egg…really bad

1. Julienne your zucchini. Please use either a mandolin or a julienne peeler gadget because just thinking about you slowly slicing a zucchini into little julienned ribbons with a knife drives me insane. Just don’t do that, for me. XO

Note: for this meal I used 3/4 of a MASSIVE zucchini, it made, like, 1.5 cups of “noodles” ish.

2. Place the “pasta” into a colander and cover with salt. Now some jerk is going to be like “But HOW MUCH salt did you use??” I have no idea, when did I start measuring things? The only time I used a measuring up was later on when I needed something to crack my egg into. Just sprinkle it with enough salt so if feels like each little noodle has been salted.

3. Let it still for 5 minutes.

4. Slice jalapeno. Immediately touch eye.

4 b. Remove corn from cob and touch eye just one more time to make sure it’s still burning

5. Saute jalapeno and corn in a little bit of olive oil – I added a pinch of salt and some garlic powder cause I was too lazy to mince a clove of garlic. And garlic also burns your eyeball. Oh, and red pepper flakes because the jalapeno wasn’t enough.

6. During 5, poach your egg. And just FYI, in order to poach an egg it needs to be slowly cooked in simmering water NOT made in a little cheater cup. Thats just a stupid egg and no one wants to top their dinner with a “stupid egg” cause that would be STUPID.

THIS IS POACHING AN EGG

THIS IS BEING AN ASSHOLE

7. Go back to your zuke pasta that has been sitting for 5 minutes, if you had your colander sitting over a bowl you should notice that your zuke tinkled a little, thats good. Rinse the zuke and squeeze out all the excess water. Move to a serving dish.

8. Mix corn/jalapeno mix into the zucchini, it’ll be just hot enough to warm everything.

9. Serve yourself. Top with a magical poached egg. I love you poached eggs, forever.

Look, this is totally almost like a real recipe! Kinda. Minus sanity and the ingredient list.

This was actually surprisingly delicious. I foresee eating zucchini pasta at least once (or 5 times) a week until I get sick of it.

Ps. I was totally going to do a post with a bunch of pictures from Europe with some commentary but there were too many pictures and I got hungover/tired just thinking about the trip. So…eventually.

Baci,

Mae

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