I love white smarties the best. But there are hardly ever any white ones in the roll.
I have gone ahead and put together a scientific** study focusing on the contents of smartie rolls.
Smartie Roll 1...Heavy on the purple...looks suspish.
Smartie Roll 2 - Orange heavy, but less suspish since its similar to SM1
wtf....?
Okay, let's look at the facts here. Facts dont lie***. NUMBERS dont lie****.
I made a graph. Cause they are nice to look at. I chose not to customize the color scheme because I happen to really enjoy Excel's preset option. Kinda pretty.
This is another graph. I think it looks pretty sweet. It serves no purpose.
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. I think we have uncovered something here. Smartie rolls are not the same length???? What is going to happen next!
Nothing happens next. I eat the smarties, I get cavities and all the teeth fall out. The End.
I have a ton of work to do. I guess the appearance of working with my figures and graphs and whatnot does not actually complete real work. Ugh.
Mae.
* Not scientific, I was eating them the entire time.
** Seriously, so far from scientific that it may as well be magic
*** I lie.
**** I lie.
Mae's Brain 
LOL. I would make fun of you for doing this while pretending to work, but really I can’t since I read your blog to get out of doing work.
xo
QUICK, give me an excuse to build charts with excel!!
You can map out the correlation between helpdesk failures and your overall productivity.
Number of emails that come in in relation to the cups of coffee you drink, texts you send, response time to aforementioned emails.
Its Excel, you can put anything in there and make it look legit.